Don't Work a Job You Hate: This is seriously the biggest thing I've learned in the past three years. Working a job you hate makes every aspect of your life miserable. When I was answering phones for the insurance company or getting a big wig banker his three daily protein shakes everything felt heavy. Not only heavy, but the constant feeling that I KNEW I was better than this. It was that day July 2017 that my boss called me into his office and said, "You don't want to be here do you" and I sure as shit didn't. He knew, I knew, and there was no point. This was what pushed me off the cliff and into full time entrepreneurship. Every day since not working in the corporate world I have been happier and lighter on my feet. Our jobs are seriously so much of our lives as adults and there is no reason why we should spend that much time hating our lives.
This Too Shall Pass: This is my moms signature phrase. Ask my brother. This is her answer to everything and I HATED it growing up. I didn't understand how it could be that simple. No matter what is going on it will be over. It will pass. You will get over it and you will be fine! No matter what!
Be A Good Person: The most basic concept! Be nice to people, have empathy, be selfless, put yourself in other peoples shoes. You never know what is happening in other peoples lives. Be good to others. It is always worth it!
Act Calm Even When Your Not: My favorite sentence when working with my clients is "We will figure it out!". Because we will no matter what! Things will get messed up, they wont go as you expected but it is fine! Act calm, figure it out, and keep that calm demeanor when dealing with stressful situations.
Don’t Stop Singing!: You will be so pissed when you loose your voice.
Spend Your Money on Experiences Not Crap: I used to think that having the nicest things was what made you successful. Cars, clothes, jewelry, whatever. Now I realize that the things that you get to do matter SO much more. Tommy and I never get each other gifts anymore we get each other experiences that we can have together! Concert tickets, trips, tasting menu dinners, and cooking classes. Things that we can do and remember forever because material things are only temporary.
Say Yes to Most Things, But Know When to Say No: I'm down for most things. But don’t do things that will make you unhappy just because you think you are supposed to! Still mastering this one honestly...
Friends Will Come and Go: I don't even speak to my best girlfriends from high school any more. Not one of them. My very best friend since 6th grade is still one of my best and oldest friends. We've grown apart, had seasons of not speaking, and came together like we hadn't missed a beat. Those are real friends. The friends that it doesn't matter how long it has been since you talked but you know you are still insanely close and connected. Those friends are the best friends and the forever friends.
It Is Okay to Grow Up Faster Than Other People: I am always the first to do most things. I was the first to get a tattoo, move in with my boyfriend, the first person to start a business. It is okay to grow up faster than your friends. Eventually they will catch up and understand why you made the decisions that you made.
Don't Be Afraid to Say You’re Not Okay: My mom has this ability to ask me if I am okay and I immediately start balling crying and fall apart. I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and an eating disorder since I was in 8th grade and I didn't get the balls to say it until I was a Sophomore in College. I was trying to convince my mom to let me drop out of college and she was like what is the actual problem and I totally broke down. I thought that if no one knew there was something wrong with me that it wasn't happening. It is okay to not be okay all the time because no one is and that took me so long to realize.
Say Thank you: Say it over and over and over again!
Being Skinny Isn't Everything: I have struggled with an eating disorder on and off since I was 15. Some of my worst times were right after my 21st birthday. Eat the fucking food! Hangout with your friends, get drinks, get coffee and don't count every calorie. Life is seriously way too short to only give a shit about how many abs you can see.
Travel More: My parents are big home bodies and don’t travel much! I love to be anywhere I can be whenever I can be! Travel when you can, even if it’s just to the mountains! It will change your life.
Stop putting Bows on Everything!: Not everything needs a damn bow!
Life is a Lot of Smoke and Mirrors: Most things are not what they seem. So don't get in your head that other peoples lives are perfect and start comparing yourself to others. You don't know the whole story.
Learn to Cook: It's super fun and you get to eat everything you make! Your friends and family will love you for it too!
You Don't Have to Follow The Rules: When I say this I mean the “graduate from college, get a job, get married, have babies, have the house with the white picket fence and die” kind of life! People ask me all the time when me and tommy will get married and settle down. We've been together for four plus years so it would make sense to do all of that now, but we are so not focused on that at this time in our lives! I know it is something that most people strive for but it doesn't even seem all that important right now. I am so happy with my life! Don't follow the rules that don't serve you! Follow your own path no matter how crazy and uncharted that path may be!
Talk to Everyone: Everyone is an expert in something and you never know what you might learn.
Date your Best Friend: I got so lucky with this one. Tommy is the most positive, sweet, loving, and supportive person I know. He also laughs at my jokes, goes with my crazy ideas, and doesn’t care that I smell. He is so much more to me than a boyfriend, but a true partner in this life. Everyone needs to date their best friend.
Think Back on the Past But Don’t Live There: The things that have happened to us are sometimes amazing and fun and sometimes really hard and painful. Don’t hang on to the past so tightly that you miss out on the present! The now is really great too!
It’s Okay to Cuss: I have the mouth of a sailor and I have for a while. But sometimes cussing and being yourself can relax those around you and make them feel comfortable. Ask my assistants…
Don’t Let Comparing Yourself to Others Mess with Your Head: You never know the whole story. Stay in your lane! You can look at others but don’t let comparing yourself to them dull your sparkle.
Find Inspiration in Things Outside of Your Creative Industry: Some (okay most) of my best design ideas didn’t come from another wedding. Find inspiration in museums, street art, paint splatters, tile floors, gardens, film, and really amazing photography. Bringing these elements into everything you design.
Reach Out to People You Think Would Never Talk To You: This was a big lesson when I first started in the industry. I was attending networking events and seeing people that I had been looking up to for years. For so long I was scared to talk to people, like in general. Eventually I reached out to a few people to get coffee so I could pick their brain and almost everyone said yes. I learned so much from these seasoned vets that I never thought would even speak to me. Always ask because the worst thing they can say is no!
Cherish Your Family: Loosing my grandmother was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through. She battled with Parkinsons for so long and even though we knew it was coming it hit our family like a ton of bricks. Family is so important. Make time for them and love them hard.
Have Deep Conversations and Listen: I am one of those people who dives in deep inside your head really quickly! Have deep meaningful conversations instead of talking about the weather.